Thursday, March 18, 2010

A Massive Personal Update

I'm terribly sorry I haven't posted lately. Its been a long, hard winter with plenty of personal hardship. While I feel I shouldn't be making excuses, I thoroughly apologize for those who have followed my blog and actually read (and possibly enjoyed; though I won't make assumptions there) it on a regular basis. 

For one thing, I've had a bit of a personal crisis. I started doing poorly in school. I started feeling disgustingly depressed. I also lost motivation and the want to go out and do the things I love to do; including ride horses, take photos, and design things. After visiting a councillor and a physician, I've been diagnosed with moderate to severe clinical depression and started on a course of medication as well as personal counselling. It has been a drastic change for me; someone who has always been known as an extremely happy, enthusiastic individual - but this sort of thing runs in my family and sooner or later I figure it was going to rear its ugly head. Now, though, it is under management and I will be taking Reiki classes with a Reiki Master (who is also my best friend's mother) to help me centre my energies and ground myself when I'm finding I get overly anxious. 

Another thing that has happened to me is a sudden change in heart when it comes to my schooling. Currently, I'm at McMaster University studying Earth Science and Evolutionary Biology. I've come to the conclusion that this isn't the path for me - learning from diagrams and lectures just doesn't cut the mustard, in my books. I have always been a person that learns through demonstration and by doing; labs have honestly been the thing saving my ass throughout this semester. Two weeks ago, I applied to the community college in my hometown for Photojournalism. This program has an international reputation for producing incredible photographers, and is also the only program of its kind in Canada. A week later, I found out I was accepted while I was at the school on a tour and while talking to the faculty. While I need to spend over $5,000 on new camera equipment (sorry, D40, you're just not going to cut it), I will be able to live at home and have a more grounded living environment. I am so thoroughly excited for this - you have no idea. I finally feel like I've found the career path thats made for me and I'm more than ready to jump feet first; its not going to be easy (the course is a lot of work and is quite stressful), but I know I will do well.

I figure, as well, I should update you in the course of my Pagan faith. I've decided to branch away from the teachings of Oak & Mistletoe; while Amethyst is a wonderful teacher and the community is fantastic, I feel that I'm not ready to be bound to a particular tradition and want to go off on my own. I'm scientifically-minded first and foremost, and I would like to form my Pagan path around those beliefs. Soon enough, I will have an article on how I view the Universe from a scientific and Pagan perspective. But for now, I figure I should mention that I've had a bit of a crisis in faith. I haven't done much communicating with the Universe lately and its been hard on me; I feel my mental health hasn't really helped this along. I think, though, with Ostara just around the corner, it is time for a new beginning; its time for me to be reborn, like the annual buds that are bursting through the no longer frozen earth, and start anew. 

After all, spring has sprung!


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